How to Get Your Ex Back
It is possible to
get your ex back. Relationships break up for all kinds of reasons; sometimes
love has gone stale or we have just stopped trying. In many cases the
resentment has just built up to breaking point. Perhaps we don't really want
the split but we know things can't carry on the way they are. Maybe our partner
has left us and we've only just started to see their true value to us.
Whatever the reason
for the split, it is possible to heal the relationship and perhaps to get back
together again. However, this may take time and effort and you will want to
make sure that this is the person that you really want to be with before
committing yourself to trying for a reconciliation. However it is possible to
save your relationship and get your ex back.
So, the first thing you should do is give yourself and your ex-partner some space. Time is your friend in the battle to win him back so don't feel that you must do it today! If you are arguing and fighting or acting desperate and needy then it's not going to make him come running back to you.
Firstly, take some
time to think about the good and bad things that have happened in your
relationship. Stop blaming and start to take responsibility for your part in
the split. If you can't see that you played a part, then either you need to do
some work on yourself or... what on earth do you want to get back with this
person for?
If possible, have a
break from contacting him. This should get him thinking about you and wondering
what you're up to and why you have stopped calling. If you have children
together keep your contact with him to a minimum and about the kids, just for
now. In your little bit of space, take the time to look after yourself and make
some new friends, or build up some new hobbies and interests. In the eyes of
your ex, you need to start being a reasonable, humorous and interesting human
being again. Allow the old "you" to reappear in his life, so that he
can perhaps start to remember how good things were and what it was he liked
about you in the past.
If you change your
patterns of how you act and react with him, he will be forced to change his
behaviour with you. If you are positive and constructive, it will make it a lot
easier for the two of you to communicate in the future and perhaps give you a chance
of starting again.
You have to forgive
the past! Whatever has happened, holding on to past grudges is only going to
hurt you and your future. Try and see that your ex partner is just a human
being who is trying to do the best he can given the experience he has learnt
along the way. He may not always be skilful in the way that he acts but if you
think in this manner then you may find it easier to forgive.
Realise that your
ex may take time to forgive you. Even if you believe that the relationship breakdown
was completely his fault, he may be thinking that it was all yours. Don't pin
all your hopes on getting back together; try over time to build up your life so
that it is enjoyable and fun. In this way, whatever happens between the two of
you in the future, you will have grown from the experience and you will benefit
your future relationships by this.
Some writers
advocate specific tactics for getting back with your ex. If you want more
information or further advice then check out the following resources: