Do You Need Help to Save Your Relationship or Get Him Back?
As time goes by, it can be so easy to let life get in the way of our relationships and to build up little hotbeds of resentment which can eventually explode into a heated argument or turn the hottest relationship ice-cold.
Unfortunately,
problems in relationships are inevitable and the way in which you deal with
these can determine whether your relationship will survive in the long term.
One of the keys to being good at handling conflict is becoming aware of the
patterns which we have developed through life, in particular the buttons we
allow other people to push, and taking a look at how we can handle these
situations more effectively.
So, when problems
arise, do you blame and attack your partner or do you bring up your issues
early in a positive and constructive manner? You can let your partner know that
he has upset you without whining, shouting or being abusive. If you can
communicate in a constructive fashion and include positive messages, even when
you have issues with your partner, your relationship will go from strength to
strength.
So, don't shout,
don't fight, don't argue and don't be abusive! Don't dish out the blame.
Putting him down, telling him what a terrible person he is and generally making
him feel bad, will only lead to your resentment being returned. Remember that
your man may not even be aware that you had a problem.
Never try to
resolve a problem when you are wound up. Back off a little and allow yourself
to calm down so that you can think rationally. If you are unable to control
your temper, you almost certainly will not help the situation. Before
approaching a discussion, take time to think out exactly what the problem is
and how you would like it to be resolved. However, be prepared for the other
person to reject your ideas; you should be open to negotiation if they have
some ideas of their own.
Learn from
experience about any negative patterns within the relationship and do your best
to eliminate these as far as possible. Always try to include positive comments
during any discussion which may be perceived as negative feedback. Be open to
receiving but especially to giving an apology where necessary.
Remember that there
are 2 sides to every story and your partner may not see things in exactly the
same way as you do. You might say that you realise that there are no logical
grounds for your being upset but you simply need to get your feelings out in
the open so that you can deal with them constructively rather than allowing
them to build up inside. If you can remain in a calm state then your partner
will more readily be sympathetic to your needs.